A noted psychotherapist examines the critical role close male friendships play in helping men navigate an increasingly demanding world.
For much of the past century, men have operated under the rules of Male Code, a rigid set of guidelines that equates masculinity with stoicism, silence, and strength. As a result, many suffer from depression, anger, and feelings of isolation because they don’t know how to express their emotions effectively.
Rob Garfield has worked with men struggling with emotional issues for more than forty years. In his groundbreaking “Friendship Labs,” he teaches men how to identify inner conflicts, express emotions, and communicate openly. He shows that, when men learn to open up to other men, they not only build lasting bonds but learn the skills necessary to strengthen all of their relationships. Blending compassion and expertise, Garfield urges men to abandon male code and offers a step-by-step guide to initiating and deepening their male friendships so they can lead happier and healthier lives.
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Advance Praise for Breaking the Male Code
“Dr. Garfield explains why emotional intimacy is a rare quality in male friendships and offers a clear road map for men to forge deeper connections. His style is warm, engaging, and user-friendly. I suspect that countless wives will put this book on their husband’s bedside table.”
—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D, author of The Dance of Anger and Marriage Rules
“Rob Garfield knows that the cure for what ails men is intimacy—connection to themselves and others. With compassion and wit, he shows men, step to step, how to move beyond the strictures of male code into the richness of an open heart. Both practical and moving, Breaking The Male Code belongs on the shelf of every man wanting to grow, and every clinician dedicated to helping.”
—Terrence Real, author of I Don’t Want to Talk about It
“In this wonderfully readable book, Dr. Robert Garfield brings his extensive knowledge and rich experience to show how men think and feel about their relationships with other men. Breaking the Male Code delivers a powerful and hopeful message, one that provides men of all ages with the skills necessary to enjoy deep and fulfilling relationships with each other. This book has the potential to dramatically improve all the important relationships in men’s lives!”
—Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., professor emerita, University of Southern California, and author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family
“A compelling book that goes to the heart of male loneliness and points the way toward deeper and more fulfilling friendships in men’s lives.”
—Sam Osherson, author of Finding Our Fathers and The Stethoscope Cure
“Remember how Thoreau said that men ‘lead lives of quiet desperation?’ If only he’d read Rob Garfield’s book! He’d understand not only why they’re desperate, but also how to address their needs. A vital message about men’s emotional needs, offered with care, thought, and great compassion.”
—Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland and executive director, Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony Brook University
“With warmth and empathy, Rob Garfield takes on the task of helping us to overcome our stereotypes about maleness and our often incomplete definition of friendship so that men can relate to each other in an intimate way.”
— Donald N. Bersoff, Ph.D., J.D., former president, American Psychological Association
“Garfield does a superb job of revealing the obstacles to intimacy in men’s friendships as well as providing a detailed guide on how to build such friendships. Linking the theoretical with the practical, this book will be extremely useful for men everywhere.”
—Niobe Way, Ed.D. professor of Developmental Psychology, New York University, and author of Deep Secrets
“Breaking the Male Code is a book that will change lives. Garfield’s broad and deep knowledge of men, their struggles, doubts and perseverance, coupled with their often unfulfilled wish to connect with other men, is evident on every page. His sage direction will enable men to relish life more fully.”
—Evan Imber-Black, Ph.D., program director, Marriage and Family Therapy, Mercy College, and author of The Secret Life of Families and Rituals for Our Times
“Breaking the Male Code has the potential to be among every therapist’s best friend in terms of what they’ll want to recommend to their male clients. A valuable resource for males of all ages and for the women who love them.”
—Robert Heasley, PhD, CMF, past president, American Men’s Studies Association, professor of sociology, Indiana University of Pennsylvania